First off, we of ASEMBLE would like to say we are sorry for taking so long in making this episode. Lots of things have been happening. Second off, I have been recently kidnapped and an imposter of me, calling himself Rattman the Pryo, has taken over the episode. What the heck, man?! How can you think you can impersonate me? Well anyways, I’m still allowed to write this… whatever we call it, so onto the content. Several things have happened during this time. Let me first say that Cave’s plan about having other universes making test chambers has now advanced into making coop ones. Not only that, but ASEMBLE is the first to report that all the music our company has made is coming to you all in a collectors edition! It’ll be coming out soon, and maybe all you people in the military (protecting us) can listen to it while you train with our special little training schedule. And there’s more! Some of our noteworthy core have come out to show themselves off, including some you probably haven’t seen until now. That’s not all, though! Inside information on a possible future of Aperture has been shown to us and in it one of our test subject, Chell, marries a turret. Poor girl must have snap… or maybe something even darker happened… you want to know what it is? Go start watching, there’s a lot in this one. Now, whoever’s on the security camera watch, send me help. Get me out of this room! PLEASE HELP ME!!!
Links:
Coop Comes to Testing Initiative | Portal 2 Military Training | Going to Space | Meet the Cores
Chell Almost Married a Turret
Map Review: Stasis – Episode 1
Player of the Week: MIRV (again)
The other day I was browsing the Ipecac Recordings website, (as I often do), when this showed up.
“What is it?”, you may ask… As of now, all that we know is that it’s a “Collector’s Edition” of the soundtrack for Portal 2, and is scheduled to be released on October 30th.
Now you may ask yourself, “What correlates the soundtrack of Portal 2 with Ipecac Recordings”?
I think it may have stemmed from Mike Patton’s earlier collaberation with Valve.
Mike Patton is not only an accomplished musician that partnered with a fellow of his to form the record label, “Ipecac Recordings” (in the year 1999); he also created the vocal sounds of ‘The Infected’ in Left 4 Dead; (you may have also noticed some of those same sounds coming from the Anger Shpere in Portal). Ipecac Recordings is a record label known for some of their unique bands and musicians that like to expand the envelope. On top of that, they always do a fine job with the artwork and packaging that encase their musical releases.
I’m guessing this Collector’s Edition is a version of the soundtrack on vinyl with great artwork on the record itself… Only time will tell.
Source: http://www.ipecac.com/artists/portal2
Download the “Songs to Test By” Soundtrack: http://www.thinkwithportals.com/music.php
UPDATE (9/5): travislopes on reddit contacted Ipecac Recordings, seems like the Collectors Edition will be released on CD and Digital initially, but in the future there might be a Vinyl release. - Source: http://d.pr/i/3tvL
- Zbot
UPDATE (9/29): This Collector’s edition will consist of 4 CD’s. Three of the discs will be the same collection of songs available that you can already download. The 4th CD will contain 13 songs from the original Portal soundtrack, (previously unreleased). This Collector’s Edition will also come with the mini-comic Turret Lullaby. (Here’s the link for the digital version of the comic: http://www.thinkwithportals.com/turret_comic/).
UPDATE (10/20/12) : “Portal 2: Songs To Test By”, is now available for the pre-ordering. -http://www.amazon.com/Portal-2-Songs-Test-By/dp/B009DJB8I2
Also, “What’s in the Portal 2 Soundtrack Box?” – http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/What%27s_in_the_Portal_2_Soundtrack_Box%3F
-MIRV
UPDATE (10/30/12) : Release Day!
From the Ipecac Recordings website:
“Gamers, rejoice!
Last year our friends at Valve, the creators of some of the best videogames in the world, called us. They said that diehard Portal fans had been clamoring for a compilation of the music from the Portal games. Well, as fate would have it, we are gamers too! Voila! A 4-disc set of more Portal music than you will find anywhere and a nifty, top secret bonus too! This is beyond a stocking stuffer, the Portal 2: Songs to Test By soundtrack is a gamer/music fans dream! Play on, we say!!!!!!”
Unfortunately, ASEMBLE is having technical difficulties. It seems that the summer months, while babes, sun, and fun come out, so do the bugs, glitches and hardware problems. Rest assured, Aperture Science has its best scientists working on the problem, and we hope to be back up and running as soon as possible. So hang tight, don’t let the mantis men attack.
Sorry about the delay in episodes again guys.
Sincerely,
Zbot and Codename
(Remember that time I said every time I write on the blog it is a bad thing, well it happened again…) – Zbot
At last, after months and months of waiting, the Perpetual Testing Initiative is now out for available throughout the multiverse. That and Zbot and I are now free from the menial thing called “High School”.We work for Aperture, the best scientific company ever made, yet we still have to do attend school. Oh wait, I’m going off topic. Anyways, we’ve been seeing tons upon tons of maps already in the work, like thousands and it’s only been a couple of weeks. Good job, tests subjects! It doesn’t stop there though, oh no, because we heard that several new projects are already in the making, including a new portal gun replica and figurines of two of our most trust robots, Atlas and P-body. And there’s more! We learned that a fellow man has started to make an animated movie based off the journey of one of our best tests subjects and also that Aperture has begun to help mappers out with a new modding camp specifically designed for Aperture uses. Don’t worry, it’s not for the lungs, we have enough lungs. The best part though is that joining us today is the creator of the Gaben map that was featured on the Portal 2 blog a while ago, a person who you should all know because they’ve been on before. She’s going to reveal a bit of her work in the beta as well as a little some more on it. Curious? Want more? Hungry? Well if you are all three, plug in, download, and let us show you why Aperture is your #1 source for all things science (that isn’t classified, which is what we mostly have).
Links:
Real Life P-body Portal Gun | Portal 2: The Animated Movie | P-body and Atlas Figures Silver Wheatley Bead | Portal 2 Modding Camp
Map Review: None, Miss Stabby Interview about Beta info
Player(s) of the Week: M.I.R.V.
So, remember that last post where I said that usually when I have to write on the blog it is bad news. Well guess what, it happened again. Unfortunately, once again real life got in the way of Aperture Science, and unfortunately no amount of convincing with Giant Robots could remove the problem. So, although we did have the opportunity to record with a special guest host a couple of weeks ago, the episode has not made it through editing as of yet. Rest assured it is still coming, we set a goal to have it done by next Wednesday, so its not too late, but it is still going to be later than expected.
However, this blow might have damaged your brain to the extent where we might have needed giant robots to prevent onslaught of angry fans from storming the Aperture Gates, so we have come up with a solution to try and prevent any undesirable incidents. We give you, Kittens! (Are we good now, because we could have used giant robots instead -_-)
P.S: The voice actor for Cave Johnson actually is on a TV show now. Check him out on “Men at Work” tonight at 10PM Eastern on TBS. (I don’t know if it will be on for all you European folks, but there are methods *cough* that you could get your hands on it if you wanted to.)
Finally, a blog post that brings good news. Usually when I commit to writing upon this blog I am forced to be the bearer of bad news, bring the announcement that another delay or other misfortune has occurred. Or it’s something we missed. Fortunately, it is not the case today. I am here to show you the latest project to come out of my own house, you may have heard about it on Episode 11 of ASEMBLE, but now it is here in full and completed. I present for you consideration, the Aperture Science Podkasting Facility!
Now that I have you interested, more pics after the jump.
Well everyone, after months upon months of waiting, we finally know what Cave Johnson was planning for his little test chamber experiment thing, or what we know as, the “2nd DLC”. Genius, it is, having Apertures from other universes making test chambers for us and we “stealing” them. And the name is interesting too, Perpetual Testing Initiative. More on that later. We also found some old fashion portal tech that we are informed is called steampunk. It behaves like what we have now, but it looks older and cooler, with all its knobs and gears and other sweet stuff. Things haven’t been completely smooth around here, though. We had a little trouble around the facility. You see, some scientists have started a little game in which they get more drunk the more they test. They have been swigging so much of our Portal 2 cocktails that Caroline had a fit that could rival the ones made by Johnson himself. We all laughed our heads off, though, at the site of those employees crashing into walls, thinking they were going to fly through a portal. Oh yeah, and for those who haven’t known, we were recording in our new podkasting facility, with [Redacted], for this episode and it’s really quite epic. This, more, more after, and even more after that in episode 11 of ASEMBLE. So plug yourself in and let the testing begin! And be ready for the Perpetual Testing Initiative, coming May 8th. And happy Portalversary, everyone!
Links:
Perpetual Testing Initiative | Darkhorse Portal Art | Steampunk Portal Gun
Steampunk Portal Boots | Steampunk Portal Battery | Steampunk Portal Gear
If I were a Core | Portal 2 Lego Art | Alcohol Science | Zbot’s Portal Room
Map Review: Lp’s Lazr0s
Player(s) of the Week: Codename’s Stalker
I am sorry to announce, but it seems like episode 11 is going to be delayed a bit. Zbot and I were suddenly thrown out of our work area and were told that our place is getting a make over. We were pissed, because we were going to do some recording before that happened. But do not worry, we will have an 11th episode for you fans soon.
So yeah, that’s the bad news, but we do have some good news. The good news is that Portal 2 is now, if you haven’t already heard, over 1 year old. We were so happy that [Redacted] reminded us of this and we began partying in some test chambers to celebrate, since our office was being worked on. But yeah, once the place is redone, we’ll show you all what it looks like, and trust us, it’ll most like cause your nerves to go haywire with excitement and squee. We hope to soon have it up, because Aperture Science loves all its customers and so do we. Thank you, and we hope to see you all in the next testings.
An interesting time warp happened last week, in case anyone IS actually reading these reviews. Even if you aren’t, which is kind of impossible, considering you are at least glancing at these words right now, it’s fun writing these things and I’m happy to bring my experiences from every wing of Aperture into light. But, as I was saying, I ran into some issues when stress-testing the time device for the lab boys from the past. From what I’ve been told, that was a solid week ago, and the outcome was… Well, turns out I need a new left pinky. No one knows where the old one is, no one knows what time it’s left in. But, I’m at least *mostly* recovered, and this next test proves it.
How will you ever get over the field! Oh noes!
Now, I was made to stay in the infirmary and was given a false record by one of the scientists I agreed to work for. In 1962 my name is Margaret Lowry and I like apples. But the device was fixed and I’m back on my rounds. The test I was given to make sure I am still cognitively sane is one to teach the mechanic of a new way to think with portals and pits.
This test on its own is a good exercise, keeping it short and collected in one area. It’s obviously created to teach a mechanic in an environment where it’s the only way to reach a button or get a cube to the other side of the room. It works very well once you understand exactly what you’re supposed to do, with all the mechanics meshing and flowing nicely together.
This thing will hurt. Be careful.
One can’t help but note the crisp, clean look and feel of the test, like it just came off the assembly line. And it may have. Not a tile out of place. Nothing unusual to report. Granted, a button right up next to the ceiling may look weird, but it was a goal, and the one to teach you what to do. Visually it looked perfect. Simple and straight-forward, it flows so well from one mechanic to the next.
Now, just how the heck do I get up there?!?
The mechanic trying to be taught by this test is not one I’ve seen much of. That’s probably because it’s pretty difficult to move out of a portal. It can be quite a pain to know exactly what you have to do, but the portals just don’t want to work for you. This test doesn’t make it any easier, but since it is the purpose of the test, it may not be quite as frustrating since it IS the test and not a simple function.
I liked the use of the laser and emancipation grills. Normally, the way they’re generally used together stands alone, but again, there’s good use of mechanic meshing right here. And, the solution to getting around the fields is so easy that I even overlooked it!
You can see pretty much all the test right here. Pretty tight.
There’s not much left to say about this pretty little test. It functions the way it’s supposed to, you may learn a thing or two along the way, and it’s just short enough to play with when you’re in a hurry. I would recommend asking for this map to be included in your normal testing track if you’re not quite as advanced as some, as the mechanic you learn here may be useful in the future, where you may have one of these special flings slipped into one of the official ones.
Yay, I’m done and not dead! The red stuff always hurts… Remember that.
Visual : 5/5 cubes [simplistic.]
Puzzle : 5/5 cubes [entertaining, not too hard or difficult.]
Flow : 5/5 cubes [simply spectacular. For a small map the flow works wonders.]
Teacher : 4/5 cubes [The map doesn’t really tell you anything about what you’re supposed to do. The solution may be too well-hidden for the inexperienced to pick up on quickly.]
Total : 4.75 cubes
Cute little map will hurt you if you’re not careful. But you should learn from your mistakes. If you don’t… Well, you’re insane. Highly recommended to those with less experience just for the learning factor. Crisp look, flows good, it deserves this high score. Not all stellar tests are of one particular length, goal, or idea. This map proves it, even if the designer didn’t spend a really long time on it. I applaud you for putting effort into functionality for everything you do, not just the big stuff.
Good run, I hope to be astounded by the clique ‘good things come in little packages’ yet again sometime.
~~
You can download Lp’s Flingtro from ThinkingWithPortals.com!
If you have a map you’d like to request be tested, pop over to the forums to place an order! Self promotion is acceptable! 
Any comments, questions, or the like may be sent to redacted.asemble@gmail.com regarding any map review done.
Follow [REDACTED] on Twitter! @REDA_CTED!
After barricading ourselves in our recording studio while trying to avoid the mob of pony fans (A.K.A.bronies), we came across another set of mysterious documents. To our horror, they told of one of Aperture’s past plans to improve business. The first being on the list, brace yourselves, was getting rid of all portal technology. Shocked out of our minds, we asked Caroline if this was true, and to our dismay, it was… for a time. Thankfully though, Cave Johnson then realized that if he did that, all our his customers (about 204) would stop buying his products. Thank god he came to his sense then, or I wouldn’t be here tell you all it. We also came across some videos that I’ve got to say are quite entertaining and scientifically educational. I can’t believe we’ve never met this Susan Tiemann; I mean we work in the same building.. Not only that, but it appears Aperture has modified an old game called “Mario” with their own tech and have made it so much fun, especially because we can now have 4 people play at once. I mentioned ponies earlier, and reason why I did is because some ponies have been buying a lot of Aperture Science products and been messing around with them all over their home, wherever that is. I’d explain more, but I don’t think you listeners want to read a 100 page report. So get your inflatable turret, turn up the sound, and listen to the most Portaly podcast out there: ASEMBLE.
Links:
GDC Portal Talk | Portal 2: Original Opening | Competative Portal
Science Time with Susan: Portals | Science Time with Susan: Schrödinger’s Cat
Mari0 | Prank | Delivery Service | Maintenance | Rainbow Highway
Trust and Cooperation | Inflatable Sentry Turret | ASEMBLE Flikr w/ Candy Pics
Map Review: Tower Defense 2
Player(s) of the Week: save_us
