Posts Tagged ‘ASEMBLE’
First off, we of ASEMBLE would like to say we are sorry for taking so long in making this episode. Lots of things have been happening. Second off, I have been recently kidnapped and an imposter of me, calling himself Rattman the Pryo, has taken over the episode. What the heck, man?! How can you [...]
At last, after months and months of waiting, the Perpetual Testing Initiative is now out for available throughout the multiverse. That and Zbot and I are now free from the menial thing called “High School”.We work for Aperture, the best scientific company ever made, yet we still have to do attend school. Oh wait, I’m [...]
So, remember that last post where I said that usually when I have to write on the blog it is bad news. Well guess what, it happened again. Unfortunately, once again real life got in the way of Aperture Science, and unfortunately no amount of convincing with Giant Robots could remove the problem. So, although [...]
Finally, a blog post that brings good news. Usually when I commit to writing upon this blog I am forced to be the bearer of bad news, bring the announcement that another delay or other misfortune has occurred. Or it’s something we missed. Fortunately, it is not the case today. I am here to show you [...]
Well everyone, after months upon months of waiting, we finally know what Cave Johnson was planning for his little test chamber experiment thing, or what we know as, the “2nd DLC”. Genius, it is, having Apertures from other universes making test chambers for us and we “stealing” them. And the name is interesting too, Perpetual [...]
An interesting time warp happened last week, in case anyone IS actually reading these reviews. Even if you aren’t, which is kind of impossible, considering you are at least glancing at these words right now, it’s fun writing these things and I’m happy to bring my experiences from every wing of Aperture into light. But, [...]
After barricading ourselves in our recording studio while trying to avoid the mob of pony fans (A.K.A.bronies), we came across another set of mysterious documents. To our horror, they told of one of Aperture’s past plans to improve business. The first being on the list, brace yourselves, was getting rid of all portal technology. Shocked [...]
As with most tests, I entered the map in a lift, leaving it into a shaft with videos of Aperture products. Nothing new, nothing original… ooh, a fancy door… Oh, OWW! I should have been given sunglasses…! This chamber is blinding, and quite honestly that is the only thing I can think about when I [...]
Okay, brief part count: Head, check. Legs, check. Gun, check. I seem to be mostly in place, no parts left in the past… Reminds me of the time I-OH MY GOD HELLO MR. FAITH PLATE HOW ARE YOU ON THIS FINE DAY! Physics still apply to me, I’m not walking through walls, so that’s very [...]
As a general rule of thumb, don’t ever do science unless you are sure you have the right equipment. If you don’t have the right equipment it’s a safety hazard, and that’s where you get all of those repetitive punny safety posters in high school labs. [Handle test tubes like a gun, they might go [...]
